Sue, I Remember 35 Years Ago
YOUR MOTHER SAID I FEEL FINE.
SO WE WENT TO A FRIDAY NIGHT BAR-B-Q.
YOUR MOTHER ATE A BIG STEAK!
GOT HOME ABOUT MIDNIGHT.
YOUR MOTHER STILL FEELS FINE.
SO I’M TOLD ITS OK TO GO TO SLEEP.
NO PROBLEM….LOTS OF BEER.
2 AM….GET UP....LET’S GO!
WHERE?
OK.
DROVE DOWN RITCHIE HWY AT 50-60 MPH.
RUNNING RED LIGHTS....YOUR MOTHER HANDLES PAIN WELL!
I’M CONVINCED THAT YOU’LL BE BORN IN THE CAR.
STOPPED IN BROOKLYN PARK….COP AT LIGHT.
SMART THINK’EN….I ASKED COP FOR ESCORT.
FIRE STATION ON THE CORNER.
COP SAYS NO ESCORT….INTO AMBULANCE SHE GOES.
I’M LEFT STANDING ON THE CORNER.
LATER IN DOWNTOWN BALTIMORE….I CATCH UP IN THE HOSPITAL.
YES….YOU CAN SEE HER.
SHE IS WHEELED OUT OF THE MATERNITY AREA ON A GURNEY.
BEFORE I CAN SAY ANYTHING....SHE THROWS UP ALL OVER!
SORRY!…..BACK INTO MATERNITY.
4 AM….I’M SITTING BY MYSELF.
I ASK…..WHATS HAPPENING?
BABY WON’T BE BORN UNTIL ABOUT NOON TIME.
GO HOME….GET SOME SLEEP.
I’M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO.....I WALK TO AN ALL-NIGHT DONUT SHOP.
COFFEE AND DONUTS.
5 AM…..BACK TO THE MATERNITY AREA.
MR. CORDIE…..WHER’VE YOU BEEN?
IT’S A GIRL!
DOCTOR COMES OUT AND SAYS CONGRATULATIONS….EVERYTHING IS OK.
YOU’VE GOT A BEAUTIFUL RED HEADED DAUGHTER!
LOVE, DAD
Written by Jim Cordie, 10/21/2002